(Not) Home Alone

Let's get candid for a minute (hey, if Jenny Lawson can do it on her blog, so can I).

I have a mental condition called Bipolar 2 disorder. It's defined by a lot of things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things because we will likely never meet.

Contrary to popular belief, it does not mean that I am crazy in a wall-licking, head-standing, holy-shit-I-think-I-might-be-a-Beatle-or-a-mop kind of way. It does mean that my mood can often be dictated by environment, and said mood can ofter otherwise dictate the course of my day.

I am medicated well, so I can see the things happening and note when I am running up into hypomania or down into depressive states.

The thing with BP2 is that the depression is the part to look out for.

I have spent the last year growing out my hair. It's long, and curly, and down to my shoulders--I am in heavy debate to cut it off just because I am lonely.

Loneliness is one of my biggest pinch points--I legitimately have no clue what to do with myself 100% of the time and that makes me want to shrivel into a nothing or do literally anything to feel like I'm doing anything.

Usually the result of which is extreme competitive eating...

...with myself.